On the way to work this morning, I was listening to Kari Jobe on my i-pod. The song she was doing was "The More I Seek You," and it was an awesome way to start my day. With so many things going on, and so many uncertainties in today, it was comforting to get alone with God in the middle of the world.

I had the chance yesterday evening to co-write 2 songs with a friend of mine, and what came of the session blessed me. When you do something with a purpose, you have to set a goal for the product. What I want to get out of my writing is not recognition, but a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father. I want to be able to lose myself in the words that I put on paper. My desire is to know that I have worshipped God as a result of what he burns in my heart, and know that he has heard my cry. I feel that when I am near God, nothing else matters. Nothing can dare to approach the feeling of absolute sanctuary from everything when I am able to be dissolved by His presence. It is odd, but I feel that I can only be found when I lose myself. The feeling of absolute dependence is a different thing, but I feel safe because I know who I depend on. The ultimate goal is to help someone else to have this same kind of encounter.

In writing, we wanted to do the first song in two stages. The first being the stage of new salvation - given hope. What I wanted to convey was the feeling that you have when you have searched and searched for something meaningful, but all you find is hurt and deceit. I know from my own experience that many things in life can make your "now situation" feel better, but the majority of these things do not have a lasting effect. My problem was that I gauged everything on past experience, and salvation through Christ was unlike anything I had ever seen. The thing that makes it different is that I found love. I don't mean some kind of cheap imitation of an emotional high, or some kind of act that leaves you feeling obligated to something you would rather not be around. I mean the kind of love that transcends any and all ideas of closeness and relationship. Once you have been shown this kind of love, everything else looks duller and seems muffled. It is like seeing a clear window when you have always looked through frosted glass.

The second stage was to be a relation of how we daily depend on God for our strength. I know that I could not possibly make it through my day if I were to be on my own power. There is nothing that I could practice or study that could adequately prepare me for a solo trip. Prior to experiencing Christ, I was a solo kind of person. I didn't need anyone's help or guidance - I had something to prove. Looking through frosted glass was good enough, only because I hadn't through a clear window yet. Once my eyes were opened, the frosted glass just didn't make any sense. Now, I have relinquished my quest to prove who I am in the grand scheme of things. Instead, I want to find out who I can be.

Living in God's will is a strange thing. It comes with a tremendous amount of surprises, mostly revolving around the unseen. I am not saying that I am the perfect example of Christianity - to follow my example would be terrible for all future Christians. I am saying that realizing that you are in the right place is a truly wonderful experience. The beauty part is that doing what you need to do usually doesn't make any sense to anyone but you. Money, success, and accomplishments simply cannot influence your decision. In fact, it works better when the chance you are offered brings less money, success is not guaranteed, and your accomplishments mean nothing. When you have perfect peace despite this kind of situation, you absolutely know what to do. My kids teach me that jumping is scary, unless you know who is holding your hand.

I hope you have enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Yesterday, when I got home from work, my wife gave me an awesome gift. My new i-pod nano is "phenomenal" (to borrow a word from the honorable Tim Gabbard.) We had a few problems getting the music to load, but she stayed up all night re-loading my cd's while I slept. I am really blessed to have her in my life, and I don't know where I would be without her. She is a miracle that I get to re-live everyday.

Jonah 33 - "The Heart of War" is the new album that is ransacking my brain this morning. Man, I love this group! On their website, the speak of "stripping the religion" from the church. Powerful stuff! If you get to the bottom of the matter, we are at war constantly with the enemy, and this group gears you up big time.

Andy McKee - "Art of Motion" is a fantastic collection if you enjoy really good acoustic guitar. He is fantastic, and his playing is very fluid. He is a master of his instrument, and it shows through in the recording. Good "chill" music, and for when you want your mind to vacation peacefully.

In enjoying my new nano, I am really floored by my wife's devotion in staying up all night to copy music. She did this just so that I could get the most possible enjoyment out of the new toy that she gave me. It also makes my mind gravitate to a central question. What am I willing to do for the ones that I love. Will I do more for some than others?

My Family should certainly takes precedent over anyone else, but do they always? I let too many things get in the way of what is precious to me, and that is exactly what the enemy wants. It is never the big stuff because that is easy to recognize and defend against. The little things daily that seem to slip through the radar are what cause the most damage. Simple things like poor communication or forgotten events can absolutely wreck relationships. We trust those that we have relationships with, and expect them to not let us down. We also hold different things to be important, and with poor communication we can't identify and prioritize in order of significance.

If the enemy can drive a wedge in the family unit, he has essentially shaken our sanctuary. The home is supposed to be the safe-zone that we can retreat to for recharging. In that respect, the enemy sees the home as not a safe-zone that is off limits, but instead the main encampment for his target. In battle, the aggressor attacks the enemy encampment systematically. The first things to be taken out are the lifelines - the things that would be used to call for help. This alienates the victim and makes the victory all that much more possible. In my life, my lifeline is my family. If the enemy can drive a wedge between us, he can get me by myself so that he can attack me without my help coming to my rescue. In the same manner, he can get me away from my family so that I won't come to their rescue either.

Today, tell your family how much you love and appreciate them. We can turn the enemy on it's ear and start to systematically attack him from all sides. Hug your friends and tell them how much you appreciate them, and we can shake the enemy camp. Reach out to your enemies, and it will be the equivalent of an all out assault with dramatic results!

Be blessed and thankful for the blessing today.

I started writing a book yesterday. Saying that sounds ridiculous to me, but Pastor Andrew (the youth pastor at my church) really challenged me a few weeks ago. His message spurred me on to awaken the seed of inspiration that was placed in my heart several months back. The reason that I never started was that I am too young. What do I know about life? What could I record on paper that would actually mean anything? I hear stories every day about prodigies that are still in their teens, and they compose music, graduate college, and even become world-renown doctors. I believe that the reason that I come across these stories is so that I will know that my only restriction is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of public opinion, fear of failure, and even fear of success. Oddly enough, I want my situation to change for the better, but I'm not willing to change anything to let it happen. I stand in the way of my future, and I don't want to be moved.



If you are hungry, you have to get up and eat. If you want knowledge, you have to gather it. If you want to find something, you have to look for it (not watch - there is a difference.) Simply wanting something is not enough to gain that desired item. In my life, I see countless examples of instantaneous achievement. Overnight sensations and pure dumb look are over publicized as the way to "make it." The question in my heart has changed from "How do I make it?" to "What do I want to make?" E-bay had a series of commercials that comes to mind. There were several different scenes where someone would unwrap a package, there would be a laughably large "it" in different colors that related back to the e-bay logo. This "it" is whatever you want, or whatever you need. It is whatever you are searching for, and I must decide what "it" is.



I read on my friends' blog "you can always test the water, but you can’t get used to it till you jump in." This is an awesome life nugget for me. It's not necessarily the jumping that scares me, but the landing. It scares me, because I don't know how or where I will land. I don't know if I will like the view there, or if everything that I see from here is an illusion or not. What I have to take comfort in, is that God made the landing for me. He is there, and won't let me fall and scrape anything that doesn't need to be scraped (sometimes things need to be scraped, so I have to be ready for that.) Jumping also jostles things and re-arranges them. If you don't believe that, get close to 30 years old and jump out of a truck bed like you did when you were a teenager. THINGS MOVE!



In conclusion, growth and change correlate. If you are not growing, you are dying, but everything is always changing. I am in a constant state of change, and that fact is accentuated by my three children. The difference now is that I am not willing to let the good changes go by any longer without grabbing them.