On the way to work this morning, I was listening to Kari Jobe on my i-pod. The song she was doing was "The More I Seek You," and it was an awesome way to start my day. With so many things going on, and so many uncertainties in today, it was comforting to get alone with God in the middle of the world.

I had the chance yesterday evening to co-write 2 songs with a friend of mine, and what came of the session blessed me. When you do something with a purpose, you have to set a goal for the product. What I want to get out of my writing is not recognition, but a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father. I want to be able to lose myself in the words that I put on paper. My desire is to know that I have worshipped God as a result of what he burns in my heart, and know that he has heard my cry. I feel that when I am near God, nothing else matters. Nothing can dare to approach the feeling of absolute sanctuary from everything when I am able to be dissolved by His presence. It is odd, but I feel that I can only be found when I lose myself. The feeling of absolute dependence is a different thing, but I feel safe because I know who I depend on. The ultimate goal is to help someone else to have this same kind of encounter.

In writing, we wanted to do the first song in two stages. The first being the stage of new salvation - given hope. What I wanted to convey was the feeling that you have when you have searched and searched for something meaningful, but all you find is hurt and deceit. I know from my own experience that many things in life can make your "now situation" feel better, but the majority of these things do not have a lasting effect. My problem was that I gauged everything on past experience, and salvation through Christ was unlike anything I had ever seen. The thing that makes it different is that I found love. I don't mean some kind of cheap imitation of an emotional high, or some kind of act that leaves you feeling obligated to something you would rather not be around. I mean the kind of love that transcends any and all ideas of closeness and relationship. Once you have been shown this kind of love, everything else looks duller and seems muffled. It is like seeing a clear window when you have always looked through frosted glass.

The second stage was to be a relation of how we daily depend on God for our strength. I know that I could not possibly make it through my day if I were to be on my own power. There is nothing that I could practice or study that could adequately prepare me for a solo trip. Prior to experiencing Christ, I was a solo kind of person. I didn't need anyone's help or guidance - I had something to prove. Looking through frosted glass was good enough, only because I hadn't through a clear window yet. Once my eyes were opened, the frosted glass just didn't make any sense. Now, I have relinquished my quest to prove who I am in the grand scheme of things. Instead, I want to find out who I can be.

Living in God's will is a strange thing. It comes with a tremendous amount of surprises, mostly revolving around the unseen. I am not saying that I am the perfect example of Christianity - to follow my example would be terrible for all future Christians. I am saying that realizing that you are in the right place is a truly wonderful experience. The beauty part is that doing what you need to do usually doesn't make any sense to anyone but you. Money, success, and accomplishments simply cannot influence your decision. In fact, it works better when the chance you are offered brings less money, success is not guaranteed, and your accomplishments mean nothing. When you have perfect peace despite this kind of situation, you absolutely know what to do. My kids teach me that jumping is scary, unless you know who is holding your hand.

I hope you have enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.