I came to the realization last night that I have not tried to make connections outside of the 4 other people that live in my house. I feel like my purpose on this planet is to make connections, but that is an extremely terrifying thing. I feel that other people that are in my situation in life are in the same boat, but are too proud to admit it. We don't want anyone to see the weakness in our armor, because that makes us susceptible to the strength of another. Taking on the world by yourself seems to hold a certain mystique; a badge of honor. The sad thing about succeeding in this endeavor, however; is that you are alone when you reach the finality of your pinnacle. You won't have anyone to share your joyous shouts of achievement. Success then becomes something that is very hollow.

I am going to step out on a limb today. My wife and I were not able to host small groups in our church this session because of different life hurdles, but that doesn't prohibit us from being an active part of someones small group. I can find reasons all day that would gracefully exclude me from participating in a group, but none of them really hold water. This has prompted me to make a list of things that I wanted out of a small group.

Connection with people in my life situation.
Connection for my kids that is separate from the adults.
Friendship that lifts us up.
A safe haven that families can run to.

Lastly, I want to be in an atmosphere that invites others that aren't saved or "Churched." I think that this point is more significant than anyone knows or cares to admit. Too many times, I have seen people sickened by the way that they are treated by well-meaning church attendees. People get so wrapped up in their own ideas and thoughts of what "Church Membership" means that they miss out on the most important part of Jesus - Love. I want to have a group in my church that reaches out and calls for those that are down on their luck. I want to be able to show the glorious revelation of hope to those that don't even know that they need it. I want to go and find those that are too hurt to even search.

The story of the shepherd is a recurring strain throughout the bible. A shepherd's true worth is not shown by standing in the gate and calling for the lost sheep, it is shown when they go out and search for those that are stranded. That means climbing up hills, and crawling through valleys. That means that you look until your eyes are clouded, hear until your ears are suppressed, and feel until you are numb. This is heavy on my heart, and it tells me that I am not doing enough. I hold the answer to life in my heart, but am too comfortable to step out and share it with others. Maybe that is the reason that my waters have been troubled lately.

I would love nothing better than to be able to start a meeting somewhere in this city that does not involve the mention of church. I would love to have a place where people can go to have wholesome conversation about real life. I think that this would be the ultimate outreach tool, but where does it start? What is that first step that must be made so that there can be a second step? I would love to be able to leave my working career and focus on this kind of ministry, but where do I find the guts to do that?

I am going to pray for this specifically, and I ask that you do the same. Please pray for my city. We are in a fight for our eternity, and far too many have lost that battle. Please pray that God will have his way. I don't think that He has placed these feelings in my heart for them to stagnate. My mind is a whirlwind right now, and doubts are circling around me. All that I have to cling to is the wonderful realization that Jesus rose from the grave that He went to for me and my city. This alone gives me confidence that He can do anything. God created the heavens, the earth, and all that is in them. He must allow things to happen before they can take place!

Let me know your thoughts...