Today is a great day! Last week at this time, my oldest two children were battling a stomach virus, which they promptly shared with my wife and youngest when they got home from "Worm Hill" (my parent's place.) I skated by until Wednesday, but was hit hard. It was a rough patch, and I didn't get to feeling human again until this morning. I am looking forward to a new week!

I need to start by saying that God is truly awesome. I wish that I had a better, more powerful and artistic word to describe what God is to me. I feel frustrated by the constraints of the human mind and available language when I describe my Heavenly Father. I wish that there was a new word, or something that was specially reserved for one that is worthy of such magnitude.

Today's service was absolutely the most intense encounter that I have ever experienced at any time in my life. I do not want to downplay my wedding date, the birth of my children, graduation, or any of the other outstanding milestones that I have had the pleasure of encountering in my life by saying this, but it was just that spectacular. My friend Eddie Goode said it perfectly - "Man, that was thick." There were times that I couldn't stop shaking, and even now, I have a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

Missing practice Wednesday left me feeling like this morning was going to be a terrible event. I didn't know what to expect, and I did not feel 100 percent on anything that we were going to do. His strength is shown in my weakness.

Baggage is a terribly overwhelming thing. I don't even realize what has happened until I look up and see that I have been crawling and struggling for months. I look back and see that the cart that I have been struggling to pull is overloaded and has bad wheels. It's very design is to make the load more difficult to carry, and I gladly let things get piled on to make it even that much more difficult. I even add things to the cart - with good intent in mind, of course. The sad thing is that God tells me all through His word to let Him take the reigns. He begs us to not shoulder the load that is too difficult to navigate. This morning, He didn't just tell me - He took the reigns away from me.

During worship, I felt so free to worship. The freedom in unity is such a liberating thing - like opening the windows and bathing in the light of the morning. There were no boundaries, and the non-spoken communication between our team was excellent. I could have played for hours, and didn't want it to end! I have had little moments all day where I just sing a simple song in the still quiet of my soul. "I Need Thee" has been a stabilizing thought all day for me, and it is nice! There were times in the service where I felt so overwhelmed by the love of God that it made it hard to breathe. Our world is desperately in need of this kind of connection. Our church is in a great place right now spiritually, and I think the storms that have tried to make us take on water are about to subside. We are about to fully understand Mark chapter 4 - "Peace, be still."

Pastor delivered a sermon on relationship and connection this morning, and it re-enforced the thought of today quite well. I realize that I usually get the intent of connection all wrong. I try to make sure that all of the right hardware is present, the conditions need to be conducive to a good connection, and the situation has to be absolutely accepting of the connection for the process to even be considered. The problem with that is that my conditions are not realistic. They are thoughts and ideas that are placed into the situation to facilitate an easy connection. I see now that the stuff that I inject into the atmosphere is just a personal attempt to shield my fear of connection.

I have been fooled into believing that everything has to be perfect, and my battery has to be fully charged to have a good connection. Isn't it funny that I only really intently try to connect when I need better information, or my batteries are drained! I set myself up for a bad connection, so I shouldn't be surprised when things don't quite synchronize.

I think that God would tell me to just chill. I need to sit back and shut up so that I can see and hear what needs to be done. Most of the time, all that is required of me is to just relax and let God do His work. I don't need to offer suggestions or place requirements on my rescue. I just need to love God and let Him love me. I think I am better equipped to do that after today.

I feel like when God tells you something, you need to make it known so that you can be held accountable for it. With that in mind, I think something is in store for my path. I feel like the fog is rolling back, and there is a clearing up ahead. There are some very specific things that I won't go into detail about, but I do feel that God is finishing a picture for me. I released all the worry about finances, future, and all the other things that I have been carrying for far too long this morning. I spoke the audible words "I can't do it any more" during my prayer, and it felt very humbling. I feel ashamed for carrying things too long and letting it affect where I am in my spirit. I feel fooled by the junk that I have attached myself to, giving myself to trudging through the mud instead of riding in the cart.

For those of you that come across this blog, let me know if you have encountered a "fork in the road" recently. I will be glad to pray with you about decisions that are facing you, and welcome the connection that could be made. God bless you...