Today is a great day! Last week at this time, my oldest two children were battling a stomach virus, which they promptly shared with my wife and youngest when they got home from "Worm Hill" (my parent's place.) I skated by until Wednesday, but was hit hard. It was a rough patch, and I didn't get to feeling human again until this morning. I am looking forward to a new week!

I need to start by saying that God is truly awesome. I wish that I had a better, more powerful and artistic word to describe what God is to me. I feel frustrated by the constraints of the human mind and available language when I describe my Heavenly Father. I wish that there was a new word, or something that was specially reserved for one that is worthy of such magnitude.

Today's service was absolutely the most intense encounter that I have ever experienced at any time in my life. I do not want to downplay my wedding date, the birth of my children, graduation, or any of the other outstanding milestones that I have had the pleasure of encountering in my life by saying this, but it was just that spectacular. My friend Eddie Goode said it perfectly - "Man, that was thick." There were times that I couldn't stop shaking, and even now, I have a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

Missing practice Wednesday left me feeling like this morning was going to be a terrible event. I didn't know what to expect, and I did not feel 100 percent on anything that we were going to do. His strength is shown in my weakness.

Baggage is a terribly overwhelming thing. I don't even realize what has happened until I look up and see that I have been crawling and struggling for months. I look back and see that the cart that I have been struggling to pull is overloaded and has bad wheels. It's very design is to make the load more difficult to carry, and I gladly let things get piled on to make it even that much more difficult. I even add things to the cart - with good intent in mind, of course. The sad thing is that God tells me all through His word to let Him take the reigns. He begs us to not shoulder the load that is too difficult to navigate. This morning, He didn't just tell me - He took the reigns away from me.

During worship, I felt so free to worship. The freedom in unity is such a liberating thing - like opening the windows and bathing in the light of the morning. There were no boundaries, and the non-spoken communication between our team was excellent. I could have played for hours, and didn't want it to end! I have had little moments all day where I just sing a simple song in the still quiet of my soul. "I Need Thee" has been a stabilizing thought all day for me, and it is nice! There were times in the service where I felt so overwhelmed by the love of God that it made it hard to breathe. Our world is desperately in need of this kind of connection. Our church is in a great place right now spiritually, and I think the storms that have tried to make us take on water are about to subside. We are about to fully understand Mark chapter 4 - "Peace, be still."

Pastor delivered a sermon on relationship and connection this morning, and it re-enforced the thought of today quite well. I realize that I usually get the intent of connection all wrong. I try to make sure that all of the right hardware is present, the conditions need to be conducive to a good connection, and the situation has to be absolutely accepting of the connection for the process to even be considered. The problem with that is that my conditions are not realistic. They are thoughts and ideas that are placed into the situation to facilitate an easy connection. I see now that the stuff that I inject into the atmosphere is just a personal attempt to shield my fear of connection.

I have been fooled into believing that everything has to be perfect, and my battery has to be fully charged to have a good connection. Isn't it funny that I only really intently try to connect when I need better information, or my batteries are drained! I set myself up for a bad connection, so I shouldn't be surprised when things don't quite synchronize.

I think that God would tell me to just chill. I need to sit back and shut up so that I can see and hear what needs to be done. Most of the time, all that is required of me is to just relax and let God do His work. I don't need to offer suggestions or place requirements on my rescue. I just need to love God and let Him love me. I think I am better equipped to do that after today.

I feel like when God tells you something, you need to make it known so that you can be held accountable for it. With that in mind, I think something is in store for my path. I feel like the fog is rolling back, and there is a clearing up ahead. There are some very specific things that I won't go into detail about, but I do feel that God is finishing a picture for me. I released all the worry about finances, future, and all the other things that I have been carrying for far too long this morning. I spoke the audible words "I can't do it any more" during my prayer, and it felt very humbling. I feel ashamed for carrying things too long and letting it affect where I am in my spirit. I feel fooled by the junk that I have attached myself to, giving myself to trudging through the mud instead of riding in the cart.

For those of you that come across this blog, let me know if you have encountered a "fork in the road" recently. I will be glad to pray with you about decisions that are facing you, and welcome the connection that could be made. God bless you...

"Welcome all polits, one and all! Even those polits that fly hot air balons and plaines! We even welcome all those polits that operate jet botes and fishin botes. Yes, Polits are our freends here at the East Texas Reegonal Ereport in Longvuw! We are glad that youn's have come out to support this here event, and hope that you find our akoma, akomada, akomudashuns good and plinty(round of applause for getting through that one!)

Shuld you need anything, please grab one of our event speculists and ring their bell. Them event speculists are them folks with the yellar vests on that say "STAFF" on 'em. I mean the vests say staff, not the people. Actually, the vests don't say nothing, they can't talk. What I mean is, the word "STAFF" is writ... I'm sorry, writ ain't a word...that's the problem when you read sumpin that some body else gives you... WROTE on the back of the vest. Have a good time here and thanks for comin!"

I thought the sign was funny, and I make light of the event only in humor. This event is great every year, and it was unfortunate that it could not take place this year. Everyone is always spectacular during this good time, and they always do a grand job. You need to catch it when it comes around next year, I know I will!

There is a company that is advertising "moments" for their cell and broadband-internet access card business. I am not sure the company, because the commercials all start to sound the same after a few repetitions. I like the ones that spoof all of the other companies, making their "groundbreaking" ideas of cellular connectivity seem superior to anything that has been conjured to this point in our wireless revolution. The idea is a good one, and it's purpose is to prod the consumer to think of the "moments" that they have had over the course of their human experience. My brain is not a streamlined machine, so it takes a significant event(not just hints) to get me to ponder things. Usually the motivators are extreme, excruciating pain, absolute blatant hilarity, or sometimes anything shiny that sparkles when the sun hits it. Sometimes I get distracted easily, part of the "man" thing, I guess.

Yesterday, I mowed the grass in my backyard and had a real "moment." I must first explain that I use a utilitarian push mower instead of a luxury-model, agriculturally-significant, artistically-superior, mechanically advanced rideable-landscaping machine. I am too cheap to use anything else, and I use my "landscaping" time as exercise (because I am too lazy to actually exercise.)

At first, I passed the "moment" off as a result of the intense, focused heat of the Texas sun. It was so hot, that my brain was bumping overload status, and the humidity just saturated my circuitry. I had to focus on a mission - finish the yard in record time. I wanted to at least be finished with this grueling task prior to passing out and baking in the sun for hours before my family noticed my absence. Every step was tough, the incline was murder, and the grass was as thick as the wet hair of a sheep-dog. This was only the first pass, and it was going to kill me!!!

I neared the privacy fence of my neighbor, and stepped right in my "moment." The grass next to my fence is as thick as berber carpet. It was the most luxurious grass that I had ever walked on! As I continued mowing, I started to think. Why was this grass so thick? What has caused this grass in this portion of the yard to flourish so greatly? How could I stop this onslaught of heat and horrible agony? How much more of this could my out-of-shape mass take before I lay dead of a self-inflected total-body cramp?

I realized that I was panicking, so I began to think on the grass. I have not ever done more to my yard than mow grass occasionally. I never fertilize, water, or do anything to help sustain the ecosystem on my property. My neighbors; however, water and fertilize with reckless abandon. They tend the soil and maintain nice yards. It seems that I had inadvertently caught the benefit of their focused drive and dedication. I had done nothing, yet I had the same good results that they had worked so hard for.

In the spiritual sense, things work much the same way. I will try to relate what my moment taught me with three points.

The drive, dedication, and perseverance that my elders have invested pay off before my very eyes. The path that is already beaten down need not be cleared and forged on my part. I just have to learn to follow the trail that has been cultivated prior to my arrival. I don't have to work hard to carve my road out of overgrown, overwhelming circumstances, I just have to trim up the edges a little, so the the next person on this path can see the trail as well (legacy.)

The products of the seeds of faith that have been sown in my past are also starting to show fruit. The work of others shows fruit in my time, and the fruit is as healthy as they could have imagined. They were not able to see the results of their labor (like the grass on the other side of the privacy fence), but they knew that the labor needed to be done. Sometimes I have to work hard on things that I cannot be allowed to see the benefit on. This doesn't mean that I can work any less hard, or allow my focus to be a little blurred. I still must give all for the good of another.

The abundance of the end result many times over-runs the boundaries that we set forth for it. I must put all that I am into what I do for Christ, knowing that he will bless me for my dedication. I also have been made to realize that others will most-likely benefit as well. At first, the people that are being blessed may see the blessings as a curse. It is through this that God can minister to them as well.

Who knows, He may be able to speak through something as simple as mowing a yard or something. Crazier things have happened!

Extra long blog today. I have been listening to Jason Upton, and am feeling a little speechy.

Monday morning, and a good start to what I hope is a great week. The worship yesterday went well, despite my best efforts to cause a train-wreck in everything. Metronomes can be your worst enemy when you don't pay attention to the programs that you set up. We did some great tunes that I really enjoy, and everyone did well.

I saw someone in service that caused my heart to stop. My cousin, Eric was in service this morning. He is a great guy, and I have missed him for a long time. I know he is going through some junk, and I want the best for him. He is also a good drummer, and that is intimidating. My prayer was answered this morning when God showed up despite my failure. After the service, I received genuine compliments on the product of our worship. It feels good to know that someone else is blessed by the same thing that blesses me so wonderfully. I missed the extra rehearsal time this morning due to a schedule change, but change is the only thing that we can always count on - whether we enjoy it or not. 45 minutes of practice on Sunday morning feels like an extra worship service and an extra visit from God. I just can't get enough. to borrow a phrase from the Texas Rangers - I could really use some worship!

My church has the luxury of having a Pastor that loves his congregation dearly. He spends time before and after service greeting and shaking as many hands as possible every week, no matter what is going on. He shows the genuine compassion of Christ, and has taught that to his children. Mark Carter (oldest son of Pastor Carter) spoke at our service yesterday, and I was humbled by his message. He continued the series that Pastor is working on involving Legacy. My interest was peaked, because Legacy is usually spoken from a platform of a long life of inspiration and diligence. Mark's take on legacy was something of beauty. He spoke about the legacy of different people in the Bible and touched on a few icons of the faith. As always, he had a good humor that helped the audience to prepare for what he was going to touch on. One quote, and I will continue - "If I were to meet Adam, I would punch him right in the face - and his little wife Eve, too." Good things come from good speakers.

Mark spoke on the legacy of Thomas, the disciple. We all know Thomas as a doubter, and for years, that is what I have gleaned from my feeble interpretation of the scriptures involving him. I was under the impression that Thomas was not one to aspire to be similar to. After the sermon yesterday, I realize that I am more like Thomas than I would have cared to admit. Thomas was not the weak, fragile-minded individual that I thought he was. After a passionate explanation, I realize that Thomas was dedicated to a point of fault. He didn't doubt that Christ was alive, he missed Him so terribly that he didn't want to find out it was a hoax. As Mark explained, Thomas gave up everything for Christ. He left all he knew as familiar and comfortable, and invested the entirety of himself in the cause of this thing called Christianity. If all he had invested of himself died on the cross with Jesus, what could he look forward to?

I don't believe that Thomas was entirely wrong in this though. I just believe that his passion and longing over-shadowed his faith for a brief moment. When the disciples gathered in the upper room (John 20:26-29) after Jesus appeared to the first group, He appeared for a second time to his chosen few. His first words were "Peace be with you (John 20:26NLT)." the next words that Jesus said were to Thomas. He instructed Thomas to touch his wounds so that he would know that his Savior had risen. As soon as Thomas touched the wounds of Christ, he exclaimed "My Lord and my God! (John 20:28NLT)." Thomas had gone from a legacy of doubt and fear of solitude to a legacy of knowing God when he saw Him. His dedication accompanied his ministry until his death, and it never again faltered. What a fantastic Legacy to live! It doesn't matter what you start with, it matters how you finish.

I felt loved throughout the service, and the feeling overwhelmed me as we closed with worship. We played a new song yesterday ("You Are My Strength" - Hillsong), and I definitely did not have it together. God showed up and brought home the point that the music is not what He shows up for, it is our worship that beckons Christ. I didn't hear anything supernatural, or feel wind and see lightning flashes. I just felt extremely loved. I guess that the legacy of love is the greatest legacy that we can hope to leave in our wake.

I was reading my devotional Sunday night, and I came across a thought in the July 13th "My Utmost for His Highest." The title was "The Price of the Vision," and it spoke of the things that help or hurt our pursuit of the vision that Christ has for us. The ending thought was powerful - "Keep paying the price. Let God see that you are willing to live up to the vision."

The vision that God placed in my heart is being perfected, and I need to just wait on Him to finish His work in me. With the latest message series, I am beginning to understand that the legacy of Christ needs to be first and foremost when one pursues the purpose that God has for them. I have to guard the legacy that is being left for my children, and only let those things that are good purposeful be fastened to that path. I am truly excited for what waits around the next bend. I don't know what it will be or what it will require, but I know that it will be from God.

Monday morning, and I can feel new things are on the horizon. Yesterday in our service, I felt the overwhelming peace of God. I have felt peaceful times before, but they were always seemingly peaceful when compared to turbulence. This day, I felt true, absolute, overwhelming peace. I was immersed in peace, and through that, I saw the power that peace holds. I know that power and peace don't usually go together, but when you experience it, you can't deny it.

I have always known peace as an understated thing. I see peacefulness as a body of water that is still and quiet. My dad has a pond on his place, and the slightest breeze brings about ripples and little movements. This kind of peace is void of any movement, and the slightest breath casts this peace aside. It is short-lived peace, and relies on the universe to be still so that it can maintain it's presence. It is a fragile kind of peace.

Peace in the world view is a time of non-war. There, peace is void of conflict but not void of tension and dread. Peace treaties are signed and violated at the whim of the people that are involved. This kind of peace holds you captive with fear of conflict at it's horizon. It is a peace that holds power, but the power comes from fear. It is an ominous peace.

Comforting peace was the first presentation on Sunday, and it was wonderful. Our worship team went through a few songs, and then dismissed to walk through the sanctuary and pray. Awesome! I felt that God was with me, despite my mistakes. I felt loved and appreciated. I knew that my mistakes don't have to influence my possible state in Christ. God sees me in the light of what I can be instead of what I have been. "Healer" was a song that we did yesterday, and it really emphasized what I was going though in my heart. I guess that depression worked it's way in quietly and set up camp without me knowing. Tim Gabbard's blog shows a video presentation of the song "Healer." Comforting peace is a healing peace.

The next phase of peace was powerful peace. This is a new feeling for me, and I don't understand it. I have never felt this kind of peace before, and it is very humbling for me. I feel impressed that God's peace is the kind of peace that nothing can stand against. It is the kind of peace that overtakes and dissolves anything that attempts to drag me down. God's peace doesn't gradually overtake things, it immediately removes them from existence. This peace is generated by God's love for his children. It is delivered out of a sense of protection and urgency. My doubts cannot approach it, and I cannot stand in it's way. Nothing can be done to stop this peace, and that makes it overwhelming, powerful, majestic, and authoritative.

Powerful peace is something that I will seek when I pray from this point forward. Marvelous things were done in my heart yesterday, and I want more of that. I have to understand that God wants to take care of me. He wants me to lay my head against His chest when my neck can't hold it up anymore. I hope that you can experience this powerful peace as well - it is life changing.