So, it's been over a month since my last post!

Wow, there is much to talk about.

I recently took the family on a trip to Disney World, and it was fantastic! I haven't had that much fun in a very long time, and I haven't had that much physical pain as well. I will be updating with pictures very soon, but I want to tell you what I have discovered in the last month. See the last part of this post for info on where to find the updates, because this here party will be moving soon...

Since February, a very important part of my life has been changing in dynamic ways. In past posts, I haven't tried to hide the fact that this large part of my life is my relationship with God. This is drastically different from the mindset that possessed me several years ago, and many from those days may not be able to see past who I was to discover who I am.

On with the show...

People don't like religion. They get angry when religious fanatics force their snooty nose into their business. They get defensive when outsiders trash what they see as their life. They get steamed when they feel self doubt and embarrassment. They see this intrusion as the gold-standard to measure all of "those religious freaks" by.

I feel the same way.

When I grew up, I often thought that my home was the buckle on the "bible belt" of America. I grew up hearing messages of "fire and brimstone" that left my soul somewhat numb to the effects of the gloom and doom genre of preaching. It was a regular occurrence to hear about how everything that I really "enjoyed" was going to hold my soul captive. Honestly, I quit paying attention long before I really ever took my little foray into the "things of this world."

I know that sounds extremely critical, and I need to clarify something. The pastor of my youth - Doyle Ferguson - is a man that is close to God's heart. I have no doubt that he heard (and still hears) from the voice of God on a daily basis. What I am saying is that I wish his teaching could have occurred in my present place in life so that I could retain more of what was said. Not everyone is as lucky to have that kind of opportunity for Godly influence in their lives. I am lucky to have a second chance at it now that I am older.

The reason that I grew calloused to those opportunities for growth is that I never cultivated a personal relationship with God. I always left those kinds of things to chance, and I am truly sorry to admit that. Later in my life, I allowed many other things to spoil the chances that I had to repair the broken relationship that was there. With this in mind, I am asking myself difficult questions.

What can I do to keep that from happening to someone else?

What have I done to interfere with another's quest for peace?

How can I stop hurting and start helping?

Love is a peculiar little word. It brings about many different emotions in people. Some have been hurt by it, others did the hurting through it. Some find strength in it, and yet others see it as their ultimate weakness. Things like divorce can tag "love" with the mark of hatred and betrayal. Couples that once were inseparable become bitter through an onslaught of sharp words that are thrown around. Opposing families sometimes join in the fight as well, further distancing the two hurting parties even more. Some have had their worlds crushed by things that masquerade as love, and they cannot ever see their life with "love" playing a vital role again. Perverse things may have broken their soul, and they are glad to be free of it.

I heard a comment on another blog - It may have been the Mars Hill blog - that told about a circle of acquaintances in Las Vegas. These strippers had tattoos that read "Daddy's Girl." These ladies were the victims of molestation at the hands of their fathers, and their tattoos were something that banded them together.

So, love is not always heard and accepted with the same fervor. Telling someone "Jesus loves you" can bring about terrible reminders that have been kept at bay for a lifetime. With this thought driving my intent, I discover that I have to be careful of what I say and how I say it. It becomes much simpler to just show love, and let the action do the talking. Sure, these actions are not always accepted easily either, but they are less abrasive than words. If the action is offered in the true spirit of love, then doors open much quicker than they close.

My Church is taking this summer to do service projects in our community. This is one way that we can show love without having to tell about it. We can start relationships with others around us, and we can build friendships on the foundation of God's love. I heard something both at the Easter Egg Hunt, and at the Block Party at Casa 'de Slemmon's last week.

"So what are y'all doing this for, anyway?"

My response - "You."

"What do you mean, Me?"

"Well, there are enough things out there that take advantage of people. We just want to put something out there that doesn't."

"That's it? You sure that's all you're doing? What's the catch..."

"No, that's it. No catch, no strings attached. We just wanna share our hot-dogs and bounce houses over a free night of fun for you and your family. We hope you have fun, that's it."

"Oh, OK. That's cool, man."

That's usually the last response before guards fall down. People realize that they don't need to be cleaned up for "religious freaks" to start to care about them. They start to see that those "nut-jobs" might not be all that crazy after all. That feeling that starts to soften hurts that have held on for far too long is love, and it's contagious. This kind of love draws people closer instead of polarizing them to the point of separation. This is what we owe our fellow inhabitants of planet Earth - true love.

Borrowing from Penn (of Penn and Teller) - check out the video below. The 3:00 mark is what resonates so strongly with me...

"How much do you have to hate someone..."


Oh, by the way, I am going to stop using Blogger for my blogposts. I have set up an account on Wordpress, and I will be updating pictures from the vacation on it as well. To check it out, click on the link

Wow, it’s been over a month since my last post. Didn’t plan on things taking that long, but I wanted to wait until I thought I had something good to say. After you read this, you may think that I should have waited a little longer...

In the last month, I have re-connected with many friends that knew the person that I used to be. I found that Facebook is kind of nice, and it has opened my eyes to the transformations of many of my previous acquaintances. I also found that it is easy to get lost in the colossal world of social networking. If you are reading this now while trying to figure out the person that you used to know, you will see that I am a changed man.

If you are reading this now and feel that you know the person that I am today, you too will see that I am a changed man.

With that out of the way…

Easter Sunday – Probably the most important day for anyone that even aspires to be religious.

Religious – This word has started to leave a filmy, undesirable taste in my mouth lately. It is easy to get caught up in the web of legalistic, traditional practices that masquerade as sound spiritual guidance.

Salvation – I saw this on Saturday and Sunday of this past week. This is where this train of thought leaves the station. Hold on tight now, kiddies…the ride may get a little bumpy.

We served our community on Saturday morning. That statement makes me feel absolutely ecstatic. We cooked over 1,200 hotdogs, hid over 30,000 eggs, landed a helicopter in our church yard, and had numerous games and door-prizes - all for our community. It was nice to see smiles and hear cheers. It thrilled my soul to see my church filled to capacity with people that just needed a break from stress. It was no secret that many of our attendees weren’t from the side of the city that has hidden from stress of a bad economy. I saw the look of relief (the look that only comes from a burden being lifted) plastered across the faces of countless people streaming through the food lines. I looked as people just kept coming, an endless array of people and kids; families that jumped at the chance for a free lunch and an afternoon of fun. I heard words of gratitude from so many that it started to be overwhelming. I like that feeling.

I saw kids going through the line that were absolutely enamored with the spread of hotdogs, chips, and drinks. It was easy to see that many had not had that kind of treat in sometime…a hotdog, a bag of chips, and a cold soda. I could tell that many had not had that kind of choice in the selection of their treats in sometime…a grilled hotdog with a selection of condiments, three different kinds of chips, and four different choices of beverage. One group of siblings came up to say thanks for the "awesome lunch" as we were starting to clean up. The smallest followed his "thanks mister" with a small request. He could barely see over the edge of the table, but his words smacked me in the soul.

"Do you think I could have one more of those hotdogs, please sir?"

"Did you enjoy them?" I inquired...

"Yessir, they were yummy. I hadn't had one in a long time, and I sure would like another if you have extra." His words spilled out like they had been held in for quite a while. He looked over at his mother to make sure that he hadn't embarrassed her. I know that look, because I gave it when I was young. My exuberance usually got my words out too quick, and jeopardized my request too often. Her approving look was given, relieving both of us.

I tried to not tear up with him standing there. These were no special hotdogs. They were the cheap-o hotdogs with turkey, pork, and chicken. They were Oscar Mayer, but that was as special as it got. They had gotten a little cold from sitting out, and the buns had gotten a little stale from sitting in the sun. My legs ached from standing, and I burned my arms while cooking to start the day off. Not everything had gone according to plan, and I heard many complaints during the day. I have to say, though - none of that mattered at that frozen moment in my memory. The knot in my throat was the size of a basketball. I shook my head yes. and he glanced over at his mom for final approval.

The relief on her face was breathtaking. She motioned towards the rest of her brood - maybe 5 more little kids - in order to request extras for them as well. I thought she couldn't speak English, but I am just now realizing that she was probably in the same predicament that I was in.

I managed a head nod, and they cautiously proceeded to the table. They didn't rush or fall over one another in an attempt to secure an extra treat on this extra special day. They lined up and moved with respect, smiles covering the most room possible on their grimy little fun-stained faces. They all got their extra hotdog, and trotted off with a little more bounce than what they came with. I watched as they walked away, their bags stuffed to the brim with candy and gentle reminders of the true love of Christ. It was one of the most happy moments that I can remember, and one of the saddest at the same time.

My heart breaks now at the realization of what is in my fridge. I don’t care too much for that feeling.

The most heart-breaking realization that I’ve had regarding this past Easter weekend is that over 100 people came face-to-face with Jesus. Over 100 people looked in the face of hope, peace, love, grace, and mercy; just to name a few of His excellent character-qualities. Was this the culmination of weeks of planning, followed by hours and hours of dedication? Was this the result of an absolutely stunning worship service on Sunday? Maybe this was the reaction that resulted from LFA’s action of furthering the cause of Christ in our community. This is a great feeling, but it breaks my heart because it is only pushed with absolute fervor a few times every year. This is where I might hurt some feelings.

Why does it just happen on special events like Easter? Keep in mind that I am asking myself the same question. Would I be willing to dedicate just as much of myself to making this kind of event happen once each month? It would be impossible to cook that same amount of hotdogs and have those same activities every month, but I don’t think that God is asking for that. After all, Jesus fed a whole mess of people with some fish and a few pieces of bread. The intent is what I think He focuses on. I think He is asking us to invite our waiters and waitresses to church more often than the few weeks leading up to our Easter Egg-Stravaganza.

I would also like to see monthly events - smaller in scale if necessary - that minister to our community, but I don’t think that the responsibility should fall on the shoulders of our already stretched church staff. We have over 150 stunning volunteers that give all of themselves – plus a little extra – every time that an event is held. Can’t we make it happen more often?

For the masses that peruse these pages, I ask for your input. Would you be willing to volunteer on a monthly or bi-monthly basis if someone were to do the leg-work to set community outreach projects up? If so, leave a comment at the end of the post and let’s get things rolling.

I would love to see more grimy, fun stained faces...

I haven't updated in more than a few days, but hopefully this will make up for the time lag.

I feel like life these days has been like a romantic dinner in a nice restaurant with the one that you love. The dinner has been one that was planned ages ago, and every infinitesimal detail has been orchestrated so that the experience delivers stunning results. Soft music drifts in the background, and the hushed sound of conversations adds to an overall subtle elegance of the evening. You can imagine candlelight and the crisp linen table coverings that match the interior design of an outstanding establishment. The food is exceptional and delightful, and it would seem impossible to improve on the brilliance of the moment.

Then a yelp, followed by the sound of chaos initiating itself. A waiter stumbles and crashes into the edge of your table, propelling the beauty of the moment into a chaotic shower of "good grief, what is happening?" As the world comes to a screeching, grinding. explosive halt, you are left wondering "what...how...where did...huh?" Even the best plans can go awry...

It brings to mind the image of a circus performer spinning plates. When these displays were on the tube in my childhood, I would sit glued to the TV set. The impossible product of controlled chaos that was playing out before my eyes would enrapture my imagination. All that could be said was "how are they doing that?" The artist would dart from plate to plate, tapping and nudging these wads of energy so that the entirety of the picture stayed intact. One dish would wobble, struggling in it's effort to deliver the inevitable, but quick attention kept it at bay. You could almost feel the "snowball-running-downhill" effect. A little saucer goes unnoticed, and then order is restored - quick, loud, destructive order.

Sometime ago, I resolved to not put myself in the position to be the patsy for this kind of spectacle again. I have left jobs, ended commitments, and changed direction more times than I care to admit to, but the chaos usually ends up finding me. This time, I have help in keeping the plates off the sticks and in the cabinet where they belong. I am realizing that a quiet, intimate moment held in my little back yard under the bathing beauty of moonlight can be just as spectacular as the ones held in the fabricated beauty of an elegant dining hall. I guess that what I am realizing is this: the one you are with makes the moment special.

My wonderful wife helps to keep chaos at bay. I don't have to dress things up, or make a big to-do in order to gain her affection. All I have to do is mean what I am doing. Investing time and consideration in the relationship is far more important than the decorations that we have to look at during our time together. In fact, these decorations often provide distraction that takes my focus away from the most important part of the event - her. I never once mentioned the careful consideration that she put into the garment that she wore for the beautiful evening in the opening paragraph. I never described the intricacy that was devoted to her hair style, or the selection of the accompanying jewelry and other accessories that complimented her. This was all lost in the moment.

The same can be said of our relationship with our creator. I allow so much chaos into my life. I give permission to so many things that cause uproar and upheaval, but I seldom ever invest in stabilizing things - things that promote peace.

The other night, I put the kids to bed and ended the day with a moment under the stars. I took my guitar out to the back patio in my darkened yard to sit alone with my thoughts. I played a few chords, and it was amazing how big the sound was. The same strum in the house was wasted on the inanimate objects that tried to soak up the sound. Playing in the yard allowed the notes to dance with the wind. It allowed loving words of worship for my creator to finally escape the chains that held them in my soul. It allowed me to let the plates fall and sweep the pieces of chaos up. The result was a breath of true fresh air.

I am a blessed man. I have friends and loved ones that pitch in at a moments notice with no hesitation to help out with what I wedge myself into. Recently, I cooked a massive amount of food for my Pastor's retirement celebration. My mom and dad cooked 10 briskets and then helped to cut and pan all of the food. My wonderful wife changed out pans and washed dishes for the 20 briskets that I cooked. They took their lives and gave them to me for an entire week. In fact, my parents couldn't stay for the dinner, and my wife wrangled kids while I ate and received thanks. I am honored to have them dedicate themselves to me.

We cooked nearly 600 pounds of meat, and it was an amazing thing to see all of that food being enjoyed by my church family. I received so many compliments that I didn't deserve. I did a simple thing for an extraordinary event, and I wish that people would have directed their thanks and appreciation to the people that decorated and organized a stunning dinner celebration. I am absolutely grateful for the loving words that were piled on me, I just hope that they were even more generous to everyone else that worked and planned the event.

Great food isn't great food unless you have great people to serve it. That same food can't be enjoyed if they don't set up tables so that people can be seated while dining. That dinner wouldn't have tasted as good if the breathtaking decorations were not there to complete the experience. The dinner would have just been a dinner without the carefully crafted planning and orchestration that was done behind the scenes. Tim was even downloading music in the kitchen so that they could present Pastor Carter in style. The same fantastic crew that did all of the back-breaking labor stayed to clean up and polish the place before we left.

I am in awe of their dedication and selfless devotion. They make it easy to volunteer.

Today, Tim is in Dallas picking up a new drum set for me to play on for Sunday. Wednesday night, he and Eddie Goode asked my opinion as to what I wanted to play on. I bared my soul a little, and gave them my list. It felt like talking to Santa months before Christmas. I didn't think that I would get what I was asking for, but I had to answer truthfully. I value their questions as much as I value their friendship. They both admitted that drums and percussion gear were not their areas of expertise.

With that said, I have to say this - If I ever had a question about anything that remotely involved a guitar or stringed instrument, I would go to the scrolls of Eddie Goode for my knowledge. Tim would be the oracle for anything involving piano, sound equipment, electrical innovation, video editing, multimedia presentation, and the list goes on. I am surrounded with people that are passionate about what they do and what is being done through them.

It was an amazing compliment for these men that I hold in such a high position of regard in my life to ask my opinion on something as important in my life as music ministry. After my latest conversation with them, I am honored that my opinion mattered.

All said, this is a great Friday. I am going home on the high of great compliments from great people, and I will get to spend this weekend setting up and playing a beautiful new instrument. For a musician, that is a great privilege. In my job, I was evaluated this week as well. I was once again complimented far more than I deserved to be. I am gratefully humbled.

As I contemplate the week's events, I come to a conclusion: Compliments mean more when the people that are delivering them mean so much to you. Compliments spread joy and happiness.

What are you spreading?

I am sitting in the dark in a West Virginia hotel room tonight. We lost our power earlier this evening, and I now know what "dark" means. It seems that God has forced me to turn off the TV and focus on Him tonight. For the record, I am really enjoying it.

I wasn't looking forward to this week. I didn't have joy in my heart for any part of the trip. I dreaded the flight up, the drive to and from the shop every day, the work that I would have to do while I was here, the drive up to Pittsburgh on Saturday, the flight out of Pittsburgh, and the missing my family every second of the week. I really didn't want to travel, and I was a bear for the days that preceded my departure. I have wasted the trip so far by watching TV until my eyes forced my brain into sleep. Tonight, I intended to make an effort to sit and write a bit. I guess that I couldn't fool God, because He took out the cable so that I would have to be a man of my convictions.

Sitting tonight, I have several topics that are stumbling through my mind. I think that I will write about something that took root in my heart last week. I have kids, and they are a tremendous blessing to me. They teach me things when I am teaching them things. I find it humbling that this exchange of instruction takes place, and I am grateful that God uses them to get to me. My topic tonight will cover how they came into this world.

Labor Pains - My wife has given birth to 3 kids in the last 6 years. 3 times, she has watched her body transform into a life-giving chamber. 3 times, her body has grown and stretched to accommodate the miracle of life. I have been impressed with her strength and courage too many times to count, but these 3 moments have been poignant instances of this character as well. She is personally responsible for the most wonderful things in my life on this earth, and I am honored to call her mine.

Birth is the culmination of many months of behind the scenes work. Conception starts the life cycle, and the speed of the process takes flight immediately. Cells start to divide and develop, organs and tissue start to take form, bones and muscles start to give structure and definition, and brain tissue and other electronic impulses forge along in constructing the highway of thought and imagination. It is a busy time just after conception, but the intense and strategic series of events that are orchestrated in the womb will not be felt or seen by anyone for sometimes weeks. The mother senses some discomfort, purchases the pregnancy test, and the rest is just the beginning.

My spiritual life correlates closely to this pattern in many ways. God conceives a thought or dream in my heart. Just like the newly formed fetus in the womb, this growing desire must be fed and nourished properly for it to come into an existence separate from the loving womb that God places it in. Pre-natal care for this new and exciting thing is very important to it's life, and my dedication must be properly focused so that we can both mature correctly. If I don't do my part in guiding this dream along, I could hinder the life of the dream. I will also put myself through a difficult birthing process, and discomfort will force my dedication.

Our first pregnancy was tough on my wife. She was extremely sick, and she lost a great amount of weight. There were times that I hated myself for putting her through what she was going through. I felt guilty because she couldn't eat or smell anything cooking without rushing to another room. During labor, she had to be rushed into a blinding emergency room. The doctors and nursing staff flooded the room and ushered her out of my sight. I panicked and grabbed a nurse that went rushing by.

I am not sure what exactly I said, but it forced her to provide me with a gown and the other necessary equipment that was needed so that I could be a part of the birth. Time seemed to stand still, and I could feel my heart in my throat. The doctor told me about different possibilities that could happen, and my mind started to spin out of control. Words like "Distress," and "Fatal Consequences" assaulted my spirit and heart. I was informed that I stood the possibility of losing both my wife and child if action was not taken immediately. I went from the highest of highs to the lowest and loneliest of lows in a matter of seconds.

The next thing that I knew, I was holding my wife's hand as our precious little baby boy entered the world. His little muffled cry was the sweetest thing that I can remember. It changed everything about me. The birth of dreams that God has given me carries the same magnitude of happiness. The pain that accompanied the growing process enters my mind only when I choose to think about it. The joy that is felt on the "birthday" of those dreams overshadows even the most intense moments of pain that accompanied the labor process. The labor pains are tough, but they are an indication of a healthy and fully matured birth.

There are still dreams in the womb of my heart. I know that dedication will have to take place, and that labor pains will follow. Still, the thought of the tough growing process will only make the "birthday party" preparation all the more momentous.

I have started a project that involves the improvement of my soul. I am taking an inventory of my life, and I intend to start investing in the things that help to improve and stabilize my relationship with God. The flip-side of this is the disposal of things that aren't so important.

One of the things that I started to move toward the trash can has shown itself different in a new light. I have seen my job as one of the major things that did nothing for my soul. It provided a living for my family, but it caused heartache, heartburn, and disgust. I often find myself taking on projects that force me to neglect parts of my life that are far more important, and this usually happens despite my greatest attempts to stifle this tendency. I then feel taken advantage of, and I seldom realize that I was the one that set the wheel in motion.

I realized a few weeks ago that it is my choice to honor God in everything I do. This isn't exclusive to just worship services on Sunday mornings at LFA. It has to be a choice that I make each and every day. It has to be a decision that stays fresh on my mind throughout the day, and I am the one that gives into anything that causes me to deviate from that path. In this sense, I have experienced a feeling of freedom lately that has refreshed my mind. I choose to keep God first, and He makes it easy to do so.

My job is in inventory. I track parts that are used and manage inventory investment dollars. A large drive behind this is to make sure that we stock what we need, and we get rid of what we don't need. When I look at this from a spiritual standpoint, I start to realize that God has been preparing me for management of my spiritual investment. In a few days, I will post the list that I am working on. Until then, have you thought about what you have invested yourself in?

Psalms 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”

Last night, I resumed my reading of The Purpose Driven Life and I experienced one of the most (if not the most) intense physical encounters with my God that I have ever had. For the first time since the moment of my salvation, I felt truly, absolutely saved. I honestly needed it, and God renewed his covenant of love with me in that moment.

When I picked the book up, it was a victory for my soul that resulted from a battle with my flesh. I intended to tune in to the latest edition of sports news, or peruse the airways for anything that would catch my eye. I had just put the kids to bed, and the house was quiet for the first time of the evening. I wanted some time to just be quiet and absorb something until time arrived for sleep. Instead of picking up the remote, I gathered my book and the daily devotional that goes with it, and settled into my chair. As I began to read, my mind was absolutely flooded with junk from the day. Thoughts of work, solutions to problems, concerns with the economy, concerns for friends that are affected by the economy, and many other things were jockeying for position as my mind raced. I honestly couldn't tell you what any of the first page said, and I really wanted to get something out of my reading. I put down the book and said a quick prayer.

I prayed that God would calm the waters of my mind. I prayed that he would lay siege to the battles that were going on in my thoughts, and that He would rid my mind of the concerns and worry that were weighing me down. I wanted to be able to focus, and I couldn't with the chaos that was in progress. It was a quick prayer, but it worked immediately. It may seem ridiculous, but I am a visual person. I try to imagine things when I think about them, and it has worked well for me in the industry that I work in. I work out the solutions in my mind, and then try to convey what I have seen from behind the scenes. I do the same thing when I pray prayers like this.

I visualized choppy seas and a storm. I saw the water as it crested and crashed, and I heard the thunder as it roared across the face of the ocean. I could hear the explosions of the waves as they crashed against each other, and I could see the rain as it assaulted everything that was present. All at once, I felt lonely and vulnerable. I have never been through a storm at sea, but I imagine that it could be pretty intimidating. With no trees or other sound barriers, I imagine that the noise would be absolutely overwhelming, and the thought of it sends me into a panic. As I prayed, the picture in my minds' eye was an ocean that was suddenly and absolutely quiet. The winds and the waves stopped, and the surface of the water turned as smooth as glass. I could almost feel a slight breeze across my face, and I could hear the intense sound of peace. The clouds rolled back, and my soul was bathed in moonlight. I felt peace, I heard peace, and I could see peace. It was at that moment that I heard a slight whisper..."Be still, and know that I am God."

Goosebumps ran down my spine, and my soul started to tingle. In that moment, I realized that I was in the presence of the most powerful, most high God. Regal grace and compassion consumed me, and I felt like a lost child that had been found. My God had seen me, and He was lifting me out of my mind's chaos. There are no words that can adequately describe the feelings that I experienced. I honestly can say that I physically felt the presence of God, and I will not ever forget that feeling.

I believe that God puts things in our heart for us, and He gives us nuggets of wisdom that we are able to tap into in moments where we can't feel Him as closely as we want to. With that said, here is one of the things that God spoke into my heart.

If you are not where you are supposed to be, then it is because something hasn't moved. You shouldn't feel dismayed or tormented over this thought, you should look inward to make sure that you are not what is supposed to be moving. If you are not the issue, then take comfort in the fact that God is preparing the next step.

Our God is the creator of the universe. Genesis 1:1-2 1In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

Take comfort in the fact that you were put here for a reason. Find sanctuary in the thought that God created everything, and He intended for us to be the caretaker for His creations. Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

Maybe this helps you, and maybe you just feel that I am a little bit crazy for thinking that God would take the time to talk to me. For what it's worth, I am a nasty creature that has a history full of failures. The only thing that I do consistently is fail miserably, and it is also the thing that I am probably the best at.

The thing that allows me to think that God would speak to me is that He created me. He made me who I am, and He intended for me to travel the road that I have travelled. Last night, He welcomed me with open arms, and He washed me clean. He trimmed my hair and made me presentable. He restored me to the place that I was created for, and He put the elegant robes of royalty on my shoulders. He has given me the inheritance that I was created to have, and I am so truly humbled by His generosity. I guess that it holds so much weight because this is not the first time that He has done this for me. I have sought to squander my inheritance many times. I have lived life the way that I thought it should be lived, and I was wrong - every time.

I smile because the prodigal is no longer a long-lost son. I shout praises because I can feel the presence of my Heavenly Father. I have hope and peace because He has me in His arms once again.

I watched the inauguration of our 44th President yesterday morning, and I saw things play out that my children will read about in their history books one day. I only hope that the things that are written will not include the hateful and arrogant words that were said under the disguise of opposition. I hope that my children will understand the reason behind why democracy grew from a burning fire to a roaring furnace. I hope that the writers are kind to our former President. He made mistakes during his two terms, but I think that he did the best with what he had to work with.

After all, my credit card debt is not his fault. Foreclosures on homes due to shifty loans or loans that couldn't be afforded in the first place are not his fault. Terrorism is not his fault. Crumbling economic structure due to a lifestyle of over-spending and over-indulgence is not his fault. The impending failure of the American Automaker due to years of compromise in order to not anger the union is not his fault. Job losses are devastating, and they have contributed to good people paying for the mistakes of irresponsible people. I seriously doubt that the people that were scamming people out of money with shifty loans even considered the collateral damage of the working American citizen. I was let go from a company that I worked for after 9-11, and my pregnant wife had to work two jobs because I couldn't even find one. I personally have experienced the agony and hurt that goes with being un-employed, but I don't think we can place all of this blame on President Bush. People that own companies don't always do the right thing, and speculation in the stock market helps to crumble financial stability. To help the picture be clearer, I intend to help my kids understand what they read about in their history books by relating the history that I have seen play out in my lifetime.


I was born in a rural town in Northwest Mississippi, just a few hours from Memphis, Tennessee. In the first few of my 30 years, much of the history that I would learn would come from the lips of my parents and grandparents. I would be taught lessons of tolerance and intolerance from people that had seen integration and depression. History books that were written by perfect strangers would seek to re-direct the lessons that I had learned from the people that I respected the most. They may have taught lessons that shouldn't have been taught, but the lesson that was the most important is the one that I hold on to still today. It is the message that makes me proud to see that President Obama is where he is today. It is also the message that allows me to have hope for our country, despite my opinion that President Obama is probably not the right man for the job. Living in the compassion and mercy of Almighty God affords me this hope.

I didn't vote for President Obama, but I believe in what his election stands for. I am proud that today is a new day for racial equality in America. I am hopeful that people will be seen as creations of God instead of people of a particular race. I know that this won't happen overnight, but I do think it has started to happen. I myself have never been slighted because of being "white," so I can't fully understand the plight of the "black" American citizen. With this said, my lack of understanding does not blind my eyes to the tears of joy and celebration that I saw yesterday. I am happy because people that felt oppressed are happy. I am relieved because the chains that some wore around their souls were broken yesterday. Belief in the love of God teaches me that all people should be loved and appreciated - no matter the color of their skin. That makes me proud of what was accomplished yesterday.

I don't think that any man (or woman) can faithfully execute the office of...faithfully execute faithfully the office of Pres...be the President of the United States of America without divine intervention (round of applause for getting through that one.) I pray for President Obama the same way that I prayed for President Bush (43 as the newscasters refer to him) and President Clinton. Despite her faults and failures, we still live in the best country on this planet. Yesterday did not end with the murder of our current leader, and the inauguration was not shrouded in controversy. There was no militant takeover of government by an extremist section of radicals. There will be no persecution of my practice of religion come next Sunday. I will be able to meet and praise God in public, without fear of death. I can go to Wal-Mart and purchase a bible, bread, milk, and anything else that I need to sustain life. I may not be able to go the bank and get a loan for an expensive new luxury car, but there are base models to choose from - I just have to roll the window up instead of push a button.

Lately, I have been reminded of finality. Last week, one of the planes that my company owns crashed in a field in Colorado. Two people lost their lives in a tragic accident that came from nowhere. It taught me that my experience can teach me about my past, but it can't prepare me for all parts of my future. My life on this earth is at best only a sparkle in the eye of eternity, and sometimes finality comes like a lightning strike.


A very close friend of mine is smack in the middle of a true-life hard spot, and finances are putting the squeeze on his sanity. In fact, I have several friends that are in this same kind of situation. Their circumstances are different, but they all have the same rock and hard spot that hovers over them. I don't have to look very far to see my own set of ominous figures on the horizon. It's ironic that my past holds both hope and conviction, but faith in my reason for hope takes care of all conviction. Finality in this view is an unseen possibility - it could be a breath of fresh air, or a chance to start again. In either case, this finality will be the end of something while something else begins. Faith is a beautiful thing.


In my opinion, our world is in a stage of finality. Events that transpire daily point to the end of things in different world arenas. Finances seemingly stand on the precipice of failure, balancing unstable trust with a history of lies and deception. It has become a look at when and not if collapse will visit the global standard of frivolous living. The truth is that many in the world are not as fortunate as the most "successful," and a pruning of the money tree is probably what is needed.

Terrorism keeps people fearful of going out in the streets of many foreign countries. Sadly, the pictures that I see scrolling on the evening news point out that those homes that they find sanctuary in are being destroyed as well. War and conflict have been the one thing that seems to always outlast change in our world, and the conflict in Israel brings me to tears.

There are many examples of things that bring depression and dismay to our evening dinner table conversation, but only one delivers true peace and hope every time. My faith in Jesus allows me to look at my life as it relates to the timeline of infinity. Existence on this earth is but a dash mark in the long line that awaits me. Hope, peace, and love give me stability here, and cause me to look towards the heavens with anticipation of a true-life "stimulus package." Times like the present make me all the more happy that God has compassion for failures like me.


On a separate note:

As we celebrate the inauguration of a new president tomorrow, please take a moment to say a prayer for this man. His election has ushered in a healing of racial tensions that inflicted wounds many years ago. His supporters have been able to see hope in a new light, but extremists will likely see tomorrow as an opportunity. Please pray for safety for our country during this time of transition. Lets pray that people will see his election as the work of the hand of Almighty God. We celebrate a man today in Dr. King that would ask the same. He stood for dignity and equality, and he qualified that stance with his life of dedication to the cause of Christ.

Today, "Happy MLK Day" rings with truer meaning than any other time in my life.

Books are great avenues for imagination. They foster environments that are untested and uncontrollable by outside events. Imagination may be influenced by these events, but it cannot be ultimately controlled. Imagination is also the flexing of the muscles of the mind. These muscles are simple in childhood, but they morph into complex structures of goals, hopes, dreams, and possibilities during adulthood. Imagination is the life-blood of creativity and possibility.

The action that perpetuates possibilities in a novel is the turning of a page. On the current page, your hero can be faced with certain demise and impending doom. Simply turning the page can deliver him out of the clutches of evil, and propel him towards the preferred happy ending. It could also further entangle the hero in the increasingly difficult grip of defeat. The perfect thing about this is the possibility of the next page - also known as imagination.

The page turned yesterday as our pastor announced his impending resignation.

Pastor Carter is an amazing man, a great leader, a profound inspiration, a grand example of Godly character and integrity, and I could go on and on. He is a great friend, and he has shown me the true meaning of the good shepherd. I have enjoyed being able to serve him, and the void that is left from the departure of that enjoyment will be hard to fill. Pastor Carter taught me about restoration and resilience. I have been able to learn how to be a better father, husband, and man from watching him. He was not always perfect in his presentation of the gospel, but he was perfect in his intent. He has always been willing to let his agenda and thought take a back seat to the will of God - no matter what was happening during that particular moment. In this situation, he is doing exactly that. He is following the will and call of God in his life. God is speaking to him, and he is listening. He leads by example, and I think that this is his truest great quality. His leadership will definitely be missed, and that is part of his legacy.

So, we as a church are experiencing a turning of the page event. I hate to put such an over-used phrase on the impending departure of a 15-year leader of our church, but it is the best one that fits to me. The page that is being turned brings to a close a brilliantly exhilarating series of chapters in the history of the life of our church. I have only been here for 5 of those years, but I have grown tremendously in that time. The future brings both sorrow for the absence of a great friend in the pulpit, and exciting expectation of what the next chapter is going to hold. It is different to be excited and sorrowful simultaneously.

Our church is not in a bad place, and the departure of our pastor is not due to misdeeds or abuse of position. This is not a bad thing, despite the feelings of sadness that we all feel. Pastor is showing us one last time from his leadership position that we are to follow the will of God, and allow God to be the end destination of our path. Where we go from here as a church is dependent upon the imagination of the person that is turning the page. Pastor Carter's life is in that same position. Our shared privilege is to have the one that wrote the book also be the one that is turning the page.

Last night, my very good friend and music minister, Tim Gabbard, said something that is really affecting me. At first listen, I thought that it was a good point, but I am only now starting to really digest it. He hit me with "Call it what it is."

We started a 3 week devotion series on "The Heart" (see Tim's blog here) and I am really looking forward to seeing it through. With everything like this that you participate in, the presenter usually gives you their purpose behind it. Tim did that well, but I am choosing to take it a step further. I intend to do some thorough cleaning in the area of my heart. Call it a resolution, or a list of resolutions if you want, but this isn't just a thought that will die in a few weeks. This is a dedication to finding my purpose for being on this planet. I am going to find God's purpose for my life this year, and the first step is to do some spring cleaning in my heart.

The devotion is written so that the reader can find ways to help identify problems in their heart. These problems keep the reader from fully realizing the power and product of the Holy Spirit in their life. It is an interesting study, and it is well written. The scripture selections are great, and Tim did a bang up job putting it together.

"Call it what it is" has put some things in the light of day, and they aren't pretty. I tried to justify my greed for money by calling it "providing a great life for my family." I labeled pride "holding myself accountable for my own success." Envy was called by the moniker "wanting the best for me and my family." I could list others, but I prefer to do my own dirty laundry. I am discovering that I try to justify most of the really terrible sins that I have tied myself to by claiming that it is doing something for my family. I have been lying to myself, and that is stupid. If I can't tell myself the truth, what business do I have trying to tell anyone anything? I am probably scared to tell myself the truth, because it would end up making me do some things that are uncomfortable.

I haven't read a book for enjoyment in probably 15 years. I realized that all I do in the evenings is sit and stare at the TV until I can't hold my eyes open. At first, I justified it by watching sports, then it was family-friendly dramas. Now, I sit disgusted with myself with what I have been pouring into my spirit. I don't watch any terrible TV shows that would affect my kids, and I don't watch anything that promotes sexual agendas. I just watch stuff - TLC, Discovery, Science Channel, and some local stuff. I also spend hours on the internet, checking news and sports stats. The problem is that all that "stuff" is just filler - junk food for my soul. It has made my spirit unhealthy, and it has drowned out the Holy Spirit in my life. I force so many things into my spiritual stomach that it becomes bloated and out of proportion to what my life should be. I have become a spiritual glutton - and not in a good way.

This new year, I have started to change that. I am reading 2 books right now, and this devotional will make the 3rd text that will be feeding my spirit. "Purpose Driven Life," and "Covenant Marriage" are the other two books that I am reading. I picked these two because they are the two areas in my life that I want to see the greatest improvement in. They also intertwine well. I cannot hope to be the husband that I need to be if I don't know what my purpose is. I spend my time reading these books instead of watching TV, and it is starting to make a difference. I will do this for the next few months, but I won't cut out TV completely. I think that balance is the key to living the life that I am supposed to live.

I just need to learn balance by standing on the balance beam instead of by juggling chainsaws.

Wow! It has been a month since I updated my blog. Life has been hectic, but now it will hopefully get back to something that at least resembles normal.

In looking at the new year ahead, I have to take a minute to look in the rear-view for a moment. Sitting in this position in January of 2008, I was in a terrible place. I worked a job that required parts of my soul that should have belonged to my family. I made great money, and that started to jockey for position as the driving force in my life. I couldn't remember the last time that I spent good quality time with my kids, and my spiritual life was struggling to tread water. At times, I honestly wondered what this life was supposed to mean.

I did see great times of blessing, and I had great moments of worship and connection with Christ. The problem is that I didn't feed that connection well enough. Problems that resulted from the war between my selfish pride and my soul resulted in things that would tear my attention away from God.

We raised Emu's when I was young. Even the adults were extremely curious animals, and their attention span was painfully short. If they came across a shiny gum wrapper or piece of glass, they would find themselves absolutely enamored. Little things caught their attention, and it forced them to wander point to point instead of walk with determination.

Looking back at the year, I guess you could say that I was just like those birds from time to time.

I made a career change, and decided to take a job that paid less so that I could keep my family. During the months before that change, I had to have serious conversations with both my wife and myself. I had to talk about ultimatums and deadlines for change. I had to be accountable for the first time in my life, and I didn't really enjoy it all that much. It was tough, but I am glad that it was forced upon me. I am happy that I made the right decision, and I take comfort in knowing that God loves me. Relationships are important, and they take work to keep them healthy. My wife taught me that, and I love her tremendously for it. I can say that I have found the secret to a wonderful relationship - dedication. I have some serious work to do with my relationships, but that is what life is all about.

I also learned that making the right decisions does not always bring easy travel down the road of life. If things were my way, it would be more like a slip-n-slide instead of a path. The path makes you take time to learn from the journey.

We had un-expected expenses with car problems, and our house was burglarized. The kids fought sickness nearly continually, and my oldest started his first year of kindergarten. These things made 2008 a big, nasty blur. Honestly, I am glad that it is over. I look forward to a new year so that we can hopefully catch our breath.

I heard from friends that I hadn't heard from in years. I started new friendships, and I saw the end of a few as well. I shed a few tears, I fought back even more, and I hope that the laughs outnumbered them both. I came to some realizations, and I had to give in to rationalization. I learned more than I forgot, and I became a year older. All-in-all, last year was a success. It will make me smarter about this year, and it makes me look forward to what comes next.

The words of an old hymn ring in my head as I bring this post to a close. I don't know exactly what tomorrow holds, and it could bring good times or bad. The thing that makes me raise my head and plow through is the reality of Who holds that tomorrow in the palm of Their hand.

-I Know Who Holds Tomorrow -
"I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood." - Ira Stanphill

Thank you for putting my "happily-ever-after" to song, Mr Stanphill. I wish I could talk to God like you could.