Extra long blog today. I have been listening to Jason Upton, and am feeling a little speechy.

Monday morning, and a good start to what I hope is a great week. The worship yesterday went well, despite my best efforts to cause a train-wreck in everything. Metronomes can be your worst enemy when you don't pay attention to the programs that you set up. We did some great tunes that I really enjoy, and everyone did well.

I saw someone in service that caused my heart to stop. My cousin, Eric was in service this morning. He is a great guy, and I have missed him for a long time. I know he is going through some junk, and I want the best for him. He is also a good drummer, and that is intimidating. My prayer was answered this morning when God showed up despite my failure. After the service, I received genuine compliments on the product of our worship. It feels good to know that someone else is blessed by the same thing that blesses me so wonderfully. I missed the extra rehearsal time this morning due to a schedule change, but change is the only thing that we can always count on - whether we enjoy it or not. 45 minutes of practice on Sunday morning feels like an extra worship service and an extra visit from God. I just can't get enough. to borrow a phrase from the Texas Rangers - I could really use some worship!

My church has the luxury of having a Pastor that loves his congregation dearly. He spends time before and after service greeting and shaking as many hands as possible every week, no matter what is going on. He shows the genuine compassion of Christ, and has taught that to his children. Mark Carter (oldest son of Pastor Carter) spoke at our service yesterday, and I was humbled by his message. He continued the series that Pastor is working on involving Legacy. My interest was peaked, because Legacy is usually spoken from a platform of a long life of inspiration and diligence. Mark's take on legacy was something of beauty. He spoke about the legacy of different people in the Bible and touched on a few icons of the faith. As always, he had a good humor that helped the audience to prepare for what he was going to touch on. One quote, and I will continue - "If I were to meet Adam, I would punch him right in the face - and his little wife Eve, too." Good things come from good speakers.

Mark spoke on the legacy of Thomas, the disciple. We all know Thomas as a doubter, and for years, that is what I have gleaned from my feeble interpretation of the scriptures involving him. I was under the impression that Thomas was not one to aspire to be similar to. After the sermon yesterday, I realize that I am more like Thomas than I would have cared to admit. Thomas was not the weak, fragile-minded individual that I thought he was. After a passionate explanation, I realize that Thomas was dedicated to a point of fault. He didn't doubt that Christ was alive, he missed Him so terribly that he didn't want to find out it was a hoax. As Mark explained, Thomas gave up everything for Christ. He left all he knew as familiar and comfortable, and invested the entirety of himself in the cause of this thing called Christianity. If all he had invested of himself died on the cross with Jesus, what could he look forward to?

I don't believe that Thomas was entirely wrong in this though. I just believe that his passion and longing over-shadowed his faith for a brief moment. When the disciples gathered in the upper room (John 20:26-29) after Jesus appeared to the first group, He appeared for a second time to his chosen few. His first words were "Peace be with you (John 20:26NLT)." the next words that Jesus said were to Thomas. He instructed Thomas to touch his wounds so that he would know that his Savior had risen. As soon as Thomas touched the wounds of Christ, he exclaimed "My Lord and my God! (John 20:28NLT)." Thomas had gone from a legacy of doubt and fear of solitude to a legacy of knowing God when he saw Him. His dedication accompanied his ministry until his death, and it never again faltered. What a fantastic Legacy to live! It doesn't matter what you start with, it matters how you finish.

I felt loved throughout the service, and the feeling overwhelmed me as we closed with worship. We played a new song yesterday ("You Are My Strength" - Hillsong), and I definitely did not have it together. God showed up and brought home the point that the music is not what He shows up for, it is our worship that beckons Christ. I didn't hear anything supernatural, or feel wind and see lightning flashes. I just felt extremely loved. I guess that the legacy of love is the greatest legacy that we can hope to leave in our wake.

I was reading my devotional Sunday night, and I came across a thought in the July 13th "My Utmost for His Highest." The title was "The Price of the Vision," and it spoke of the things that help or hurt our pursuit of the vision that Christ has for us. The ending thought was powerful - "Keep paying the price. Let God see that you are willing to live up to the vision."

The vision that God placed in my heart is being perfected, and I need to just wait on Him to finish His work in me. With the latest message series, I am beginning to understand that the legacy of Christ needs to be first and foremost when one pursues the purpose that God has for them. I have to guard the legacy that is being left for my children, and only let those things that are good purposeful be fastened to that path. I am truly excited for what waits around the next bend. I don't know what it will be or what it will require, but I know that it will be from God.

Monday morning, and I can feel new things are on the horizon. Yesterday in our service, I felt the overwhelming peace of God. I have felt peaceful times before, but they were always seemingly peaceful when compared to turbulence. This day, I felt true, absolute, overwhelming peace. I was immersed in peace, and through that, I saw the power that peace holds. I know that power and peace don't usually go together, but when you experience it, you can't deny it.

I have always known peace as an understated thing. I see peacefulness as a body of water that is still and quiet. My dad has a pond on his place, and the slightest breeze brings about ripples and little movements. This kind of peace is void of any movement, and the slightest breath casts this peace aside. It is short-lived peace, and relies on the universe to be still so that it can maintain it's presence. It is a fragile kind of peace.

Peace in the world view is a time of non-war. There, peace is void of conflict but not void of tension and dread. Peace treaties are signed and violated at the whim of the people that are involved. This kind of peace holds you captive with fear of conflict at it's horizon. It is a peace that holds power, but the power comes from fear. It is an ominous peace.

Comforting peace was the first presentation on Sunday, and it was wonderful. Our worship team went through a few songs, and then dismissed to walk through the sanctuary and pray. Awesome! I felt that God was with me, despite my mistakes. I felt loved and appreciated. I knew that my mistakes don't have to influence my possible state in Christ. God sees me in the light of what I can be instead of what I have been. "Healer" was a song that we did yesterday, and it really emphasized what I was going though in my heart. I guess that depression worked it's way in quietly and set up camp without me knowing. Tim Gabbard's blog shows a video presentation of the song "Healer." Comforting peace is a healing peace.

The next phase of peace was powerful peace. This is a new feeling for me, and I don't understand it. I have never felt this kind of peace before, and it is very humbling for me. I feel impressed that God's peace is the kind of peace that nothing can stand against. It is the kind of peace that overtakes and dissolves anything that attempts to drag me down. God's peace doesn't gradually overtake things, it immediately removes them from existence. This peace is generated by God's love for his children. It is delivered out of a sense of protection and urgency. My doubts cannot approach it, and I cannot stand in it's way. Nothing can be done to stop this peace, and that makes it overwhelming, powerful, majestic, and authoritative.

Powerful peace is something that I will seek when I pray from this point forward. Marvelous things were done in my heart yesterday, and I want more of that. I have to understand that God wants to take care of me. He wants me to lay my head against His chest when my neck can't hold it up anymore. I hope that you can experience this powerful peace as well - it is life changing.

Yesterday, we had a guest speaker at our church by the name of Gary Bell from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. He is an awesome speaker, and he will be doing our Campmeeting services tonight through Wednesday night. The service went well, and the songs that we were able to do were fitting for where our church is right now. I feel that our ministry is extremely relevant and on track because of the presence of God that has permeated our services. I feel so overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit at times during our worship, and that is great. I can honestly say that the enjoyment that I get out of playing drums now is exponentially greater than anything I have felt in the past. I feel like I am fulfilling the purpose that I was created for and that fills a huge void that was present in my past.

Last year, my music pastor was doing a sectional worship workshop in Gladewater. He asked the crowd a question that made everyone think about their purpose in their worship ministry. His question was "How do you get and keep volunteers?" After everything was over, he spoke with my friend, Doug (previous sound booth man) and I. I didn't have a quality answer until now to his question. I think that the thing that draws volunteers and then retains them is the atmosphere that they get to volunteer in. As a musician in our music ministry, I feel an atmosphere of love and patience coupled with a desire to worship. That is what keeps me from wanting do do anything else. That is why I look forward to practice and worship. We fight the things that every worship ministry fights (new versus old music, volume, personal preferences, etc), but the measuring stick that gauges every concern is guidance of the Holy Spirit. We don't look to the environment that we live in, or the most popular sentiment. We don't submit to popular culture of the latest trend in worship. We instead trust our leader, and pray for God's guidance in our worship. I think that all of the men that I get the pleasure to play beside have the humility to know that our talents are nothing away from God. We also know that what we are participating in is so much bigger than the sum of our parts, and we cannot even fathom the fullness of God's purpose for our lives.

Gary Bell spoke about Moses and his call to free the Israelites from Egyptian oppression. He brought to light the character flaws that God addressed in Moses prior to the magnificent liberation of Israel. The concerns that Moses had were extremely important to him. Had he not trusted God to change him and used the faith that was ignited by the burning bush experience, who knows if he Moses would have been a part of the results. The message that was delivered seared my heart. I find a million reasons that I cannot do the things that God has called me to do. My inabilities and faults top the list of excuses that keep me tied to my present comfortable situation. Reason after reason pile up as I go through my life with a magnifying glass. With all comparisons, though, we have to look at both sides. My problems, and God's will. In looking at God's will, I can't get past the title of the column - "God's Will." The relationship that I have with God is something peculiar. He is the only one that will never fall short on His end of the relationship, no matter what I do or fail at doing.

What Pastor Bell spoke of was drive - the pushing factor that keeps us from giving up despite the situation. We are called to greatness for Christ, and were created for that ultimate purpose. In your life, pursue that thing that draws you. Get in the vehicle and let God do the driving. He won't miss an exit or take you somewhere you don't need to be.

Wow is West Virginia beautiful or what! I think that this is God's country. The area has been carved out of the hills here, and is extremely striking with chiseled, unpolished features. On the trip up, I was able to fly on a company plane, and it was nice with the exception of the last few minutes before arrival. Turbulence is not my friend.



I had a moment while flying that allowed me to start to look at the creative power of God in a different way. Looking up at clouds from the ground, you are fooled to believe that they are somehow attached to the blue background of the sky. When you are eye-to-eye with these billowing masses, you realize that they hang suspended in mid-air. It amazes me as to how these gigantic beings float. These masses of "nothing" sprawl like a carpet, letting nothing penetrate their protective cover. When you are approaching, it appears that the sky stops at the cloud bank, but only when you break through can you see the complexity of the atmosphere that they conceal.

As we flew over this part of West Virginia, we were able to see the flooding that had taken place over night. In an area that is ripe with trees and greenery, the creamy brown flood waters stood out against their backdrop. I saw that the water rushed and filled the low-lying areas, overpowering residents and structures in their path. From this point of view, I felt extremely insignificant in the big picture of things. God is mighty. His creations are purposeful and have meaning. Nature follows his lead, and anything standing in his way cannot stand very long.

After we broke through the cloud bank, we had a span of time to just observe the peaceful beauty of being isolated from the destruction on the ground. The clouds were our buffer. The light was brighter, the white was whiter, and the absence of color was outstanding. I guess that what this revealed to me, is that we can be lifted above the problems this life brings. We look at the horizon and see the limitations of what can be done. When we break through these limitations, we see the magnificence and provision that God is capable of. Our ceiling becomes our floor when God takes us into His safe place. Our world is changed in the blink of an eye, and we can no longer even see the troubles that haunted us. For those moments that God carries us on his shoulders, we experience true peace and trust. We look face-to-face at the majesty of our Heavenly Father. We now see that the reality that we looked at while in our situation was only a small portion of what was present. While we are enjoying the sanctuary from devastation, we don't realize that we are being taken out of the situation and are being delivered to a new place.

We began our descent, and came through the cloud bank. When we could see the ground again, we were much removed from the flood waters. The view was normal and beautiful again, like nothing had ever happened. We had been delivered to a new destination without having to trip through the troubles on the ground. I guess that this was one of the things that drove Noah when he took on the project of boat-building.

On the way to work this morning, I was listening to Kari Jobe on my i-pod. The song she was doing was "The More I Seek You," and it was an awesome way to start my day. With so many things going on, and so many uncertainties in today, it was comforting to get alone with God in the middle of the world.

I had the chance yesterday evening to co-write 2 songs with a friend of mine, and what came of the session blessed me. When you do something with a purpose, you have to set a goal for the product. What I want to get out of my writing is not recognition, but a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father. I want to be able to lose myself in the words that I put on paper. My desire is to know that I have worshipped God as a result of what he burns in my heart, and know that he has heard my cry. I feel that when I am near God, nothing else matters. Nothing can dare to approach the feeling of absolute sanctuary from everything when I am able to be dissolved by His presence. It is odd, but I feel that I can only be found when I lose myself. The feeling of absolute dependence is a different thing, but I feel safe because I know who I depend on. The ultimate goal is to help someone else to have this same kind of encounter.

In writing, we wanted to do the first song in two stages. The first being the stage of new salvation - given hope. What I wanted to convey was the feeling that you have when you have searched and searched for something meaningful, but all you find is hurt and deceit. I know from my own experience that many things in life can make your "now situation" feel better, but the majority of these things do not have a lasting effect. My problem was that I gauged everything on past experience, and salvation through Christ was unlike anything I had ever seen. The thing that makes it different is that I found love. I don't mean some kind of cheap imitation of an emotional high, or some kind of act that leaves you feeling obligated to something you would rather not be around. I mean the kind of love that transcends any and all ideas of closeness and relationship. Once you have been shown this kind of love, everything else looks duller and seems muffled. It is like seeing a clear window when you have always looked through frosted glass.

The second stage was to be a relation of how we daily depend on God for our strength. I know that I could not possibly make it through my day if I were to be on my own power. There is nothing that I could practice or study that could adequately prepare me for a solo trip. Prior to experiencing Christ, I was a solo kind of person. I didn't need anyone's help or guidance - I had something to prove. Looking through frosted glass was good enough, only because I hadn't through a clear window yet. Once my eyes were opened, the frosted glass just didn't make any sense. Now, I have relinquished my quest to prove who I am in the grand scheme of things. Instead, I want to find out who I can be.

Living in God's will is a strange thing. It comes with a tremendous amount of surprises, mostly revolving around the unseen. I am not saying that I am the perfect example of Christianity - to follow my example would be terrible for all future Christians. I am saying that realizing that you are in the right place is a truly wonderful experience. The beauty part is that doing what you need to do usually doesn't make any sense to anyone but you. Money, success, and accomplishments simply cannot influence your decision. In fact, it works better when the chance you are offered brings less money, success is not guaranteed, and your accomplishments mean nothing. When you have perfect peace despite this kind of situation, you absolutely know what to do. My kids teach me that jumping is scary, unless you know who is holding your hand.

I hope you have enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Yesterday, when I got home from work, my wife gave me an awesome gift. My new i-pod nano is "phenomenal" (to borrow a word from the honorable Tim Gabbard.) We had a few problems getting the music to load, but she stayed up all night re-loading my cd's while I slept. I am really blessed to have her in my life, and I don't know where I would be without her. She is a miracle that I get to re-live everyday.

Jonah 33 - "The Heart of War" is the new album that is ransacking my brain this morning. Man, I love this group! On their website, the speak of "stripping the religion" from the church. Powerful stuff! If you get to the bottom of the matter, we are at war constantly with the enemy, and this group gears you up big time.

Andy McKee - "Art of Motion" is a fantastic collection if you enjoy really good acoustic guitar. He is fantastic, and his playing is very fluid. He is a master of his instrument, and it shows through in the recording. Good "chill" music, and for when you want your mind to vacation peacefully.

In enjoying my new nano, I am really floored by my wife's devotion in staying up all night to copy music. She did this just so that I could get the most possible enjoyment out of the new toy that she gave me. It also makes my mind gravitate to a central question. What am I willing to do for the ones that I love. Will I do more for some than others?

My Family should certainly takes precedent over anyone else, but do they always? I let too many things get in the way of what is precious to me, and that is exactly what the enemy wants. It is never the big stuff because that is easy to recognize and defend against. The little things daily that seem to slip through the radar are what cause the most damage. Simple things like poor communication or forgotten events can absolutely wreck relationships. We trust those that we have relationships with, and expect them to not let us down. We also hold different things to be important, and with poor communication we can't identify and prioritize in order of significance.

If the enemy can drive a wedge in the family unit, he has essentially shaken our sanctuary. The home is supposed to be the safe-zone that we can retreat to for recharging. In that respect, the enemy sees the home as not a safe-zone that is off limits, but instead the main encampment for his target. In battle, the aggressor attacks the enemy encampment systematically. The first things to be taken out are the lifelines - the things that would be used to call for help. This alienates the victim and makes the victory all that much more possible. In my life, my lifeline is my family. If the enemy can drive a wedge between us, he can get me by myself so that he can attack me without my help coming to my rescue. In the same manner, he can get me away from my family so that I won't come to their rescue either.

Today, tell your family how much you love and appreciate them. We can turn the enemy on it's ear and start to systematically attack him from all sides. Hug your friends and tell them how much you appreciate them, and we can shake the enemy camp. Reach out to your enemies, and it will be the equivalent of an all out assault with dramatic results!

Be blessed and thankful for the blessing today.

I started writing a book yesterday. Saying that sounds ridiculous to me, but Pastor Andrew (the youth pastor at my church) really challenged me a few weeks ago. His message spurred me on to awaken the seed of inspiration that was placed in my heart several months back. The reason that I never started was that I am too young. What do I know about life? What could I record on paper that would actually mean anything? I hear stories every day about prodigies that are still in their teens, and they compose music, graduate college, and even become world-renown doctors. I believe that the reason that I come across these stories is so that I will know that my only restriction is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of public opinion, fear of failure, and even fear of success. Oddly enough, I want my situation to change for the better, but I'm not willing to change anything to let it happen. I stand in the way of my future, and I don't want to be moved.



If you are hungry, you have to get up and eat. If you want knowledge, you have to gather it. If you want to find something, you have to look for it (not watch - there is a difference.) Simply wanting something is not enough to gain that desired item. In my life, I see countless examples of instantaneous achievement. Overnight sensations and pure dumb look are over publicized as the way to "make it." The question in my heart has changed from "How do I make it?" to "What do I want to make?" E-bay had a series of commercials that comes to mind. There were several different scenes where someone would unwrap a package, there would be a laughably large "it" in different colors that related back to the e-bay logo. This "it" is whatever you want, or whatever you need. It is whatever you are searching for, and I must decide what "it" is.



I read on my friends' blog "you can always test the water, but you can’t get used to it till you jump in." This is an awesome life nugget for me. It's not necessarily the jumping that scares me, but the landing. It scares me, because I don't know how or where I will land. I don't know if I will like the view there, or if everything that I see from here is an illusion or not. What I have to take comfort in, is that God made the landing for me. He is there, and won't let me fall and scrape anything that doesn't need to be scraped (sometimes things need to be scraped, so I have to be ready for that.) Jumping also jostles things and re-arranges them. If you don't believe that, get close to 30 years old and jump out of a truck bed like you did when you were a teenager. THINGS MOVE!



In conclusion, growth and change correlate. If you are not growing, you are dying, but everything is always changing. I am in a constant state of change, and that fact is accentuated by my three children. The difference now is that I am not willing to let the good changes go by any longer without grabbing them.